Whose Dream Are You Chasing? How to Define Success on Your Own Terms
By Coach Marcy · October 20, 2026 · 5 min read
Take a close look at your vision board and ask one question: whose dream is this? Many of us chase goals we were taught to want. You can question them, keep what is truly yours and let go of the rest. For many women, success turns out to mean freedom.
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Key takeaways
- Some of what you want may have been handed to you.
- Ask who told you what success should look like.
- Freedom can be the real goal behind money, titles or milestones.
- You get to define success for yourself.
The goals we inherit
Most of us grew up with ideas about what a good life looks like: a certain job, a certain income, a certain kind of relationship, a certain timeline. We rarely stop to ask if those ideas are ours.
My own story with success
I spent much of my life chasing money. In time I discovered that what I was really chasing was freedom. Once I saw that, my definition of success changed, and so did the choices I made.
A simple exercise
Take a piece of paper and write down what you want in the next five years. Then, for each item, ask three questions:
- Who told me this was important?
- Would I still want this if no one ever knew I had it?
- What would having this give me, and is there another way to get that?
Circle what is truly yours. Cross out or rethink the rest.
What is freedom to you?
Freedom looks different for everyone. For one woman it is time with her family. For another it is peace of mind, financial breathing room or the ability to say no. Write down what freedom means to you in a few words. That is a better compass than someone else’s checklist.
You can change your mind
Questioning your goals does not mean you failed. It means you are paying attention. You can keep some dreams, change others and add new ones. You are allowed to outgrow the plan you made at 20, 30 or 40.
Come as you are
You do not need to have everything figured out to begin. You need a safe place to ask honest questions. Come as you are, and become who you choose.
Quick answers
How do I know what I really want in life?
Notice what you want when no one is watching and no one will judge you. Ask who told you each goal mattered. What stays after those questions is usually closer to what you truly want.
What does success mean?
It means something different to everyone. For many women, success is less about money or titles and more about freedom: choosing how they spend their time, energy and attention.
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About the author
Marcy Sanchez, Coach Marcy
Marcy Sanchez is a certified life coach, trained through the Certified Life Coach Institute in Orange County, California. She is also a mother, an entrepreneur and the co-host of the Talk Riches podcast. She coaches women in person in Rancho Cucamonga and online, and her message is simple: come as you are, become who you choose.
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Coaching is not therapy, counseling or medical advice. This article is for general information and does not replace a licensed professional.
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