How to Stop Second Guessing Yourself and Trust Your Decisions
By Coach Marcy · October 20, 2026 · 5 min read
You stop second guessing yourself by getting clear on what you are deciding, separating fear from facts, noticing whose voice is in your head, and taking one small step. Trust in your own decisions is a skill. You build it the same way you build any other: with practice.
Want help with this? Book a free 15 minute fit call with Coach Marcy, a certified life coach in Rancho Cucamonga, CA, or online.
Key takeaways
- Name the exact decision you are stuck on.
- Separate what you know from what you fear.
- Ask whose voice you are hearing.
- Take one small step and give yourself grace.
Why we second guess ourselves
Second guessing often starts early. We learn to look to other people for the right answer, or to fear being wrong. As adults, that shows up as asking five friends what to do, changing your mind at the last minute or never deciding at all.
It does not mean something is wrong with you. It usually means you learned to trust other voices before your own.
Step 1: Name the decision
Write down the exact decision in one sentence. “Should I take the job?” is clearer than “What am I doing with my life?” A big, foggy worry feels impossible. A specific decision can be worked through.
Step 2: Separate facts from fear
Make two lists. On one side, write what you know for sure. On the other, write what you are afraid might happen. Look at the fear list and ask: how likely is this, and could I handle it if it did? Fear sounds loud, but it is not the same as information.
Step 3: Ask whose voice that is
When you hear “you can't do that” or “what will people think,” pause and ask: whose voice is this? Sometimes it is a parent, an ex, a teacher or a culture that taught you what you should want. Hearing the source makes it easier to choose for yourself.
Step 4: Set a small deadline
Overthinking grows when there is no end date. Give the decision a deadline, even a short one. Then ask one more question: “What would I choose if I knew I could not fail?”
Step 5: Take one small step
Confidence comes after action, not before it. Send the email. Make the call. Try the thing for one week. A small step gives you real information and shows you that you can handle what comes next.
Be kind to yourself along the way
You will not get every decision right. That is part of being human. Give yourself grace, learn from what happened and decide again. Each decision you make and survive adds to your trust in yourself.
If you want help working through a decision with someone who will ask the honest questions, book a free fit call.
Quick answers
Why do I second guess every decision?
Often it comes from learning to rely on other people’s opinions or from a fear of being wrong. It is a pattern, and patterns can change with awareness and practice.
Can coaching help with self doubt?
Yes. Coaching helps you notice the beliefs behind your self doubt, question them and practice trusting yourself. It is not therapy, so if self doubt feels overwhelming, a licensed professional can also help.
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About the author
Marcy Sanchez, Coach Marcy
Marcy Sanchez is a certified life coach, trained through the Certified Life Coach Institute in Orange County, California. She is also a mother, an entrepreneur and the co-host of the Talk Riches podcast. She coaches women in person in Rancho Cucamonga and online, and her message is simple: come as you are, become who you choose.
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Coaching is not therapy, counseling or medical advice. This article is for general information and does not replace a licensed professional.
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Coaching is not therapy, counseling, or medical advice, and it does not replace any of those. In an emergency, call 911. If you are struggling with your mental health, please contact a licensed professional, or call or text 988 any time.